Overheard + holiday cheer + 2011 = ?

Schmoozing Schmoozer.


1: "What is this?"

Me: "Leaves in a sauce I think."

2. "Actually it's spinach in a herb sauce."

Me: "I stand corrected."


Me: "I've never been to a wine testing"

1: "Tasting"

Me: "Tasting"


Me: "I'm a vegetarian"

1: "For how long?"

Me: "About 2 weeks, solid 2 weeks though."


1: "No in and out the club, sorry."

Me: " I have the DJ's car keys!" (flash apartment key)

1: "Right this way."


   I'm looking forward to going back to Vegas actually. I like being comfortably numb. I think whenever I have a major drinking episode I want to crawl into a hole for a few days until all the dumb and embarrassing things I said and did wears off a bit. Vegas is a great hole to hide in.
   Fortunately I know how to avoid the cameras. I turn red as the devil's tail when I'm drinking and dancing at the club. No photos please. I can't handle an image to go with the scattered memories. Where's my phone? I'm turning it off for at least 7 days.
   I'm not a big fan of the holidays either. They are just one big reminder how everybody is somewhere else. When I was kid I would be consistently mortified having my Ma schlep me around different peoples houses every year. Pure torture. It's so awkward being in such an intimate setting and everyone knows you have no other place to go. Plus I'm Jewish so Christmas parties are kind of weird, I mean, not that I care about the religious aspect, it's just a "what's my motivation" type deal. I'd rather be with those that are bitter like me. And drinking scotch like me. And wiping away the tears like me.

  The obnoxious cruel invention of  the Thanksgiving, Chanukah, Xmas, and NYE schedule is a mockery of my integration into society. I usually strike out all 4 holidays. Of the four I sympathize with Turkey day the most. NYE is a shit-storm. Xmas is depressing and weird. Chanukah is just a reminder of my lost childhood. Bah Humbug!
   I have a ridiculous 2011 planned. Grueling schedule. Just thinking about it makes me uncomfortable. The working. The studying. The driving. My bulging biceps. How do I fit this all in one day?
   I hope 2011 has a bit more stability than 2010. 2010 was the "shake-up" year, and I was shook to the core. My whole brain got fried like an egg trying to figure out how to keep moving forward. I spent half of 2010 on some bullshit. Let me quote Lincoln Park for the first and last time in my life to accurately describe 2010, "I tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter."
   I have a theory that odd years end up being "odd." I hope this is true. The weirder shit is, the more I'm into it. Here's to an awesome 2011. I have a feeling it's going to be a year to remember... mostly because it's the most recent one.